Second thought.. I'll keep going

Ya know... if you're going to neglect one blog you might as well neglect 2.

So...

It's Father's Day.
My son runs to his room, and returns with a big smile and sucker. He hands it to me.

"Is this for me?" I ask thinking that all the work on empathy might be paying off?

"No... can you open it for me... please?"

((sigh))

New Blog

Classic... using one blog to announce the existance of another blog.

Well, goodbye hypocrisy:

Hello...

"Dry Bones Walkin'"

This blog is retired (for now)... the new blog will be... well... we'll see what it will be. I could tell you but it's sort of a work in progress... I think it's supposed to be something like a professional blog of my new carear as Lutheran Pastor... sortof like a public luther pastor journal... but I don't know what that will be like as I'm not a lutheran pastor yet so... it's a new expiriment...

Maybe follow both? Who knows what could happen...

sean

It ended with a fizzle...

Well, with the click of the send button the last exam was completed and handed in and officially I'm done all the course work that I'm going to do for seminary. In some ways it is the biggest day of the last 5 years, and in others it was just a cold May day in Saskatoon.

Walking out, holding a cliche box of office supplies and flanked by two classmates carrying the rest of my books, guitars, drums, and other random crap it felt... normal. It still feels normal and the reality of never returning to full time study again slowly settles in.

In some ways there is so much to look forward too with the new career and move across the country, but in other ways it is all loss. Loss of community, loss of lifestyle, loss of carefree existance.

So it's the biggest day, that ends in a fizzle as I wait for a few more weeks for anything else to really come together.

Graduation Party

Ahh... the end of a program. This year at the grad party not only did we roast the prof's, but they made the grads dance and sing and a good time was had by all.

The first of many events that mark the end of one thing and the beginning of another. Change...

Easter Sermon

Sermon: “The Resurrection of our Lord”

Is. 25:6–9, 1 Cor. 15:1–11, Mark 16:1–8

Easter Day

Christ is Risen! (He’s Risen Indeed) x3
The great mystery of the faith. Christ has died, Christ has Risen, Christ will come again.
Today is about expecting and deserving one thing, and then receiving something else... something completely unexpected and more wonderful than could have been hoped for.
Imagine yourself on that lonely walk up the hill with the women. A long, hopeless, lonely walk to the tomb of the much beloved one. Imagine that you had hoped that this friend would lead a revolution that would change everything and everything would now be as it was supposed to be. Jesus was supposed to start revolution - He was supposed to change the way people related to each other and God... it was supposed to be a promise that would have over thrown the oppressive system and banished an invading army from the land... It was supposed to be Emmanual coming - a new time of God with us. All of this was crushed on Friday. And now - a long and lonely walk...
All is fear... All is uncertainty.
The very Son of God had come to offer a new way to be, a new relationship to God, a new life. ... ...
And instead of embracing this new life, this new promise, this relationship, God in Jesus was rejected and sent on a long and lonely walk to the cross. The best and the brightest that humanity had to offer.... the religious elite, the educated, the government officials, the jeering crowds... all had rejected him... and now... he is dead. The collective weight of fear and self interest caused the best and brightest to turn all their hatred and hopelessness onto one person with catastrophic results. Christ is crucified.
Where there was trust, there is now fear. Where there was a sure hope, now there is severe uncertainty.
...
There is sever uncertainty in our world. It is so much easier to look to the uncertainty and point to the signs of death all around us. There is an old newspaper slogan - “If it bleeds it leads” - People like to slow down and watch a car wreck. People pay money to watch that kind of death and destruction painted vividly in News Reports. In so many ways, death makes for better news than life... at least that is what the ratings show.
...
Back in January, when we were all still digesting the last of the Christmas Feast... songs of Joy and Thanksgiving for the light coming into the world still ringing in our ears....
And this is the head-line on the CBC news web page “Jubilance, uncertainty as world rings in 2009.” and below that... “Israel gives Green Light for Gaza ground offensive.” Death, uncertainty, fear. It seems we almost like scaring ourselves. Or perhaps we like telling tales of death and uncertainty.
---
I gotta tell you a story about this little kid named Max... Max is a kid who just loves Legos!
It’s Christmas and he was visiting his Grandma’s house. (I realize that it’s Easter, but Easter begins at Christmas so stick with me...)
Max’s family had eaten the huge festive meal and it was getting late... This is good news for Max.
Late means all the dishes will be done soon.
Late means all the adults will be in the living room soon.
Adults in the living room means that it’s officially after Christmas Supper.
After supper on Christmas Eve means that it’s time to open up the presents! It was so exciting. And oh man Max had dreams... space lego was all that Max could think of.
Max had all the bases covered. He had written three messages to Santa. One by mail, one by email, and one by text message off his Dad’s phone. Max felt he was well covered in the Santa department. Santa should have gotten his messages.
He also wrote another letter to his Grandma... and he was sure that she was going to give him the legos... I mean... Max made it clear. He made a list. On the list was: Lego. It was the only thing on the list... and it would be hard to screw that up... it was all that he wanted.
There was one small hitch in the whole plan... Max and his Grandmother had had a terrible fight. Max didn’t know how it happened, it was just one of those things that happens when you are in relationship to another person. Max wasn’t sure if his Grandmother was going to give him a present this year. He wasn’t sure if he deserved one.
The family gathered and all sat down to open the presents, and he and his brother and his sister were handed gifts from grandma and he watched his brother open his present... and it was... Socks! The grey kind that itch with the red tops.... Ohhh no...
Oh noooo... socks... well, that’s just his brother... and he’s weird, and maybe that is what he wanted? Maybe he wasn’t good enough this year and this was some sort of punishment! Hope sprung up in Max’ heart.
So he watched his sister open up her present and it was... What do you think?... Socks!... oh no... what had gone wrong! Maybe his sister wanted itchy, hot, sticky feet... the kind that only grey wool socks with red tops can give...
Now all eyes turned to the little boy... it was his turn to open his present. He gave it a little shake... no sound.... legos make sound...
He gave it a little squeeze... oh no... it was soft... legos aren’t soft... legos are hard...
With fear and uncertainty in his heart and a fake smile on his face, Max opened the package and it was... he couldn't believe it was true. He kept smiling and said “Thank-you Grandma... they look... warm...” with as much energy as his crushed little heart could muster...
His Grandma said, “You’re welcome... I know that your feet are cold when you are out playing and you need to have these things to keep your feet warm... Could you do me a favor and get me some coffee from the cupboard?” There was a strange gleam in her eye... what was going on?
“Yes Grandma” Max said... he walked dejected to the cupboard... all that he had hoped would be this day was now gone... you can’t play with new socks... you can’t colour on them... and you can’t wear them inside... they are too hot to wear... you certainly can’t build them into a space lego set... and they itch.
He opened up the cupboard and there were three boxes. He picked one up... it had hard hard edges... and it sounded like pieces inside. It shook... it sounded like lots of pieces inside! It was legos!
“Merry Christmas” his Grandmother cried out!
...
Merry Christmas... can it be that just a few short months ago we were calling out Merry Christmas to one another... celebrating a light coming into the world - the birth of a new child. Hope of what could be in a new year infused everything.
All of us for a moment trusted that God that had not forgotten us - And in this Joy and celebration, we were moved to put up lights, to give gifts, to party and celebrate. The light had come into the world and for a brief moment we heard and saw signs of hope.
And then somehow all that celebration of the light has also left us with the world that we know. We all know how that many people died needlessly in the Gaza strip. We all know how hard the world is suffering from economic crisis. We all know about the many environmental warning bells that are going off around the oil sands - the back bone of our economy is having a greater cost then we first imagined. We all know how hollow the promise of new life can sound as we face our personal demons. We all know that God feels pushed aside, and God’s people and creation are ground under foot, cast aside and used up and forgotten.
The light of Christmas appears to be snuffed out by the reality of life, by the reality of the events of Good Friday. In this moment, all of history could have been lost.
...
Max’s Grandma didn’t need to give a present. But Grandmas keep giving presents not because kids are good... Grandmas give presents because they long for relationship - they long to do good things for those they love. Even when kids are a little thorny, Grandmas continue to come to them. To seek them out. To love them.
And here is the surprise ending. The long lonely walk to the tomb ended with better news than could possible have been hoped for.
So, We celebrate the ending of the long hopeless walk of the women who first came to the tomb and found it empty.
We celebrate with those who first heard the good news from the angel sitting in the the tomb. “Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here.”
Be Not Afraid says the angel... You can Trust God because God is trustworthy.
Be not afraid says the angel, God’s will to come to us has overcome even death. The light of Christmas is not snuffed out today, but it is added to by the light that shines brightly out of the empty tomb.
Be not afraid says the angel, Christ has looked deep into the human heart, the human selfishness, the human pain, the human death, and he did not turn away.
Be not afraid, the relationship to God is fixed, all was... is.... and will be reconciled to God.
The tomb is empty. There isn’t coffee in the cupboard... there is lego!
Joined to Christ, we will face a death like his, but we will also experience a new life, like his.
So Come, taste and see in the communion meal - the bread and the wine of new life and forgiveness, that we are about to share together, This is the meal of the goodness of God come down - nothing now separates us from God.
Come, taste and see that Christ who was killed is on a cross did not, would not, could not stay dead.
Come, taste and see a love that is bigger than death.
Christ is risen. (He is risen indeed)
Amen.

Stop Motion Lego

Wow... what fun!

My son and I discovered the joy of stop motion lego animation. This is the second attempt and it's lots of fun.... only took about 5 hours to put this together.

We worked on the story line and animation and photography together so we are calling it a joint project. Elijah is the head of 'eB Productions' and of course I'm the head of 'bouncin' boy Productions' so we both took credit in the end. He's pretty jazzed to do more so I think we're going to start learning about making a story board and writing more down ahead of time.

Anyway... without further delay, eB and bouncin' boy productions are proud to present:
The Great Dinosaur Escape!

The End is near.

It's Friday, and this Monday starts my last semester as a student. Forms are being signed, papers written, and soon... I will be done.

It's sort of strange to think of the past 5 years going by so slowly and yet so quickly. For example... when I started Seminary, Gray's Anatomy was just a pilot... and look how far they have come now! As I was starting seminary, Merideth and the crew were just starting residency to become surgeons. And now, just 5 years later, they will make more in an afternoon then I make in 6 months as a pastor! (Both as actors and surgeons!)

And the excitement is building in the midst of the tired. Half of me is dreading Monday and being back in classes for more information to be pounded into my head. And the other half of me is starting to dream. This is the half that is looking at the different camps that need resouce pastors. This is the half that is thinking of meeting my first confirmation class this fall... perhaps my first confirmation retreat. My first cluster meeting is coming. My first letter of call. My first time to preside at communion. It's a whole bunch of firsts.

In some ways I'm going to have to question the wisdom of the process as finishing seminary can be tiring and hitting the first parish while tired would not be a good thing. On the other hand, I'm ready. I've been told that everything you learn at seminary will get you through the first 5 years of ministry, and then you better be learning more as you go. And perhaps there is wisdom in this. Without this extended formational process, perhaps you don't have the tenacity to stick it out. Perhaps you need to be in a place like the seminary for this extended time to be ready to weather what is to come in the years ahead.

I'll be turning 33 this summer... which is about the same age that Jesus was when he started so I think I'm in good compandy. But as I start to make my plans, I think that I'll be looking to go for at least 30 years and this is best part. As I sit here with my child asleep on my chest, my eyes blood shot from lack of sleep and exhaustion, with a move to a new community coming and courses started on Monday... I'm leaning into the future. I can't wait to get started on the next phase. I'm going to miss this place terribly but it's time to go. In fact, it's overtime to go... I should be going... I want to be going but there are these last 5 months before I'm in the parish (at best... could be longer...)

So... perhaps it's time to assume the change now... shake of the tiredness of today and start living in the dream that is my vocation, career, calling, life... Or... maybe I just need some sleep.

Look out world, I'm a few classes, a colloquy and and interview away of becoming Pastor.

Where were you last year

It's been great weather but last year, about this time... I was in Madagascar.

It's been a quick year, no?

Face Book in the great beyond

So... I was doing some facebook stalking today - looking around to see if anyone is up to anything intersting. I was also mourning for my friends Judith and Jason as I wondered around the net. I noticed somthing interseting. My friend Judith is still getting face book messages from friends... Judith died last year.

What a great outlet for people to articulate their own lament. It was her birthday the other day and she got messages from friends all over the place. I never got to know her as well as I would have liked to, and time and circumstance didn't allow us this relationship but... I mourn her passing, and the hole that is left in everyone that knew her.

I actually briefly thought about how they can call it heaven when they don't have facebook there but then... that isn't the promise is it? The promise is that one day all will be made right and for now... we live in hope of that day when all of creation is gathered up. When all that is wrong is right.

Seeing these messages helped me believe it... I believe that one day there will be this full gathering in. In this moment... I believe it. I do believe that one day Judith will answer these facebook messages... (and she won't even need facebook to do it... oh what a day that will be!)

Latest sewing project

Yes, I've taken up the manly art of sewing... check out my latest project!

http://www.cruzbike.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=579&p=4228#p4228

5 Influences

So I've been tagged... and now I have to think...

#1 Pastor Randy Charlton
This guy got a youth group started in Scandia, Alberta. Without it I'm not sure what interest I might have found in the church...

#2 The Mike's I know.
These would have to me Mike Sonnenburg, and my brother Mike Bell - Bery formative in the youth group, and both instrumental in getting me to CLBI.

#3 Pastor (Now Bishop) Ron Mayan
He was the president of CLBI when I was there and it was during these years that the call to pastoral ministry was probably first really felt. Did you ever feel 'pastoral presence +10' coming off someone... this is him.

#4 Dietrich Bonnhoeffer
He's bold. He writes alot. And influences my call to be a part of building Christian Community everywhere I go.

#5 (The not yet rev.) Erik Parker
Through my pre seminary days and up till how he has been my best friend and tolerated 100's of hours of converstation and random ideas so he makes the list.

I wish there were an honorable mention category... of course... it's my blog so here I go:
Dr. Jan Boyd - Made the liturgy come alive.
Dr. Cam Harder - Makes me ask good questions.
Dr. Gordon Jensen - Confessions... enough said...
Pastor Richard Riemer - Proves that high energy lifestyle can transmit into actions and pastoral presence.
Fleming Blishen - Honest, deep, profound... a skater.
Chris Nissen - a good friend who challenges me to make sense of my faith.
Tim Wray - Whom I love and look forward to years of making up stuff together with.
Jim Appleby - He converted me to Mac - and his good nature makes me glad to be with Christ.
Jeff Decelle - I love this guys brain and organization.
M. Griener (Matt that is... who's name I've probably spelled wrong) for his honesty and principles and dedication to knowledge.
My parrents - Unconditional love and support.
Drew (little bro) - He has passion, integrity, honesty, honour... and inspiration to those looking to live the faith they profess.

And... the list goes on and on... and of course you all belong on the list but I've got to put the kids to be and I've just stolen 15 min's from my family to write this much so I won't be able to get you all on the list... but I'll conclude with a special honoroalbe mention to my wife - who shows me faith active in love and service to the community and devotion to family (as well as how to forgive a spose who is always late.)

I tag... Matt, Drew, and Lindsay. (Which means, hopefully Matt remembers he has a blog...)

Body Praxis writing assignment

How does my body enter into how I see myself as a leader in the church?

I'm the one whose body is invited into people's space.

The most festive, depressing, 

wonderful, painful, 

jubilant, vacuous 

times of peoples lives.

My body shows up.

I'm the one whose body is given the time to be available in crisis

A shoulder 

A hand

A connecting presence.

My body has time.

I'm the one whose body is used as a symbol for the mighty works of God

In Worship

In Protest

In death

And in new life.

My body is a symbol for something bigger than itself.

I'm the one whose body gives voice to the proclamation that the world needs to hear.

I voice healing

I voice comfort

I voice outrage

I voice hope

My body is the voice that proclaims Word

In ministry, my body is bigger than me and yet, it's still just me. Thanks be to God.

Moving Fast

Sometimes this is how life feels... moving so fast!

Winter is coming...

It's a cool and rainy day... it reminds me that winter is just around the corner. This picture is actually pretty bleak with all the colour sucked out of it, but really that was an awesome day of fun in the snow.

Maybe I am called to BC for the mild winters and long growing season...

www.yearbookyourself.com

Here is my actual Grad Year... not that bad really!

1950
'52
'54
'70
'74

Wow... thanks to Andrew Craig for finding this site.

Check it:

Where is God?

This should be a simple enough assignment... just write out where you see God...

So I got on the bike and road home and through the midst of the fall colours and all that is fall I saw... colours and fall.

In my family I saw people. In the food I ate I saw food.

Then I came back to school the next day.

I road again through the fall colours and I saw... fall colours.

I felt the cool morning air on my skin and the tingle in my arms as they got too cold.

I pulled up to the seminary and looked around. 

Bikes, Rocks, Trees, Water, Birds, Air, People, Cold, Sun Sets, Sun Rises, all of these things.

And perhaps this is the problem... God isn't a thing (or perhaps more accurately, God is all things and then some). So the problem looks as if it is me. I'm looking at things and expecting to see the whole. 

And perhaps a new set of eyes is what is required to see. 

And perhaps a new set of ears is needed to hear.

And perhaps a new tongue, nose, sensory system is what is needed to realize what is so far away (or perhaps more accurately, what is so close and and all around.)

So if the assignment was to see "God" then I have not yet done that.

Except perhaps a little.

And not in all the places outside, but inside. Not inside me, but inside the interaction of two creatures - Me and the Janitor.

He talked of oiling the Organ and I talked of enjoying my bike ride. And in a way that is beyond a concrete way of saying, there was a sense of something bigger than both of us in the mundane conversation we had. 

And perhaps this is the lesson, 

just keep looking and don't be surprised when the thing you are looking for is found in the morning conversation with janitor.

Shucking the Corn

So I went for a ride in the country on the cruzbike and came across a corn stand just South of Saskatoon. I happened to have my bag with me so I stopped into buy some corn... they of course didn't take credit cards or interac so I thought I was out of luck... but then, after a 5 min conversation about the bike, the guy loaded up a dozen corn and told me to enjoy. (He also took down the web page for cruzbike.com ... I think I need to get some commission soon!)

So... it was chemical free corn for lunch today!

When you can't think of what to blog: Blog your baby!

Well... here are some more pics of my kids... mostly the youngest one here.
She's really taking on expressions and interactions at an alarming rate... seems like only yesterday she was a newborn and now she's learning new tricks like crazy!

Pic from the Bell front: The one about the best BBQ of the summer.

Kids show the best emotions... what a great BBQ!



Location: The Salash's.

To be the Pastor is to love them...

So, internship ended and I'm starting to draw together some ideas of what it is to be pastor. It seems that to be the pastor is to love them...

A friend is supply preaching at my internship site right away and was asking me what the process would be like. Right away I could think of who was going to pay her, who would likely welcome her, and all these faces came into my head. It was really all about relationship in the end. All about a community of people that were all so different and all so amazing and challenging in all ways.

So all these years of seminary have loaded my brain with theology and new ideas and in the end... it would seem that the biggest challenge is going to be to love the people I'm called to serve. Not just the easy ones either... all the people.

I wonder who would be at seminary if you described the calling this way... just love your people. If you have not love, all the theology in the world isn't going to help. You just make noise.

Do I have the faith in the people? Am I willing to hope with them? Can I actually love them? This is the new challenge to ponder...